Single Scene Newsletter 12-27-02 issue 75 Copyright Single Scene 2002 sing-@primenet.com In this issue: * Jump start your social life in 2003! * Advice from Aunt Janet: * January daily ideas for dating and mingling ------------------------------- Know someone who's struggling to adjust to being single again? Harlan's "divorce recovery" class has helped thousands of singles and is now available as a FREE 5-day e-mail course. Just send a blank e-mail to divorcesec-@getresponse.com. Be sure to send it from the e-mail address where you want to receive the course. We'll send a helpful lesson each day -- absolutely free! ------------------------------------------------ Jump start your social life in 2003! by Janet Jacobsen So, like most other singles, you've resolved to get out more, meet more people, and have more fun in 2003. But -- also like most other singles -- you don't exactly have a plan for how to do that. Lots of strategies will work (joining singles groups is a good one), but we recommend a strategy that gives you lots of control and really sets you apart from the crowd. You may panic at the suggestion, but hear us out! Give parties. Trust me, this is a very very EASY way to meet new people, and to get to know "old" people better. If there's someone you have your eye on (at work maybe) but asking them out on a DATE seems too scary, inviting them (along with lots of others) to a party is an easy, low-threat way to get acquainted. How do we make party giving easy? EASY! You have several options: 1. Share the work. So few people GIVE parties these days that people like to attend a party with a "potluck" quality because it lets them "help" and therefore lets them off the hook (they think) for giving a party of their own. This works for a brunch, lunch or dinner. It also works for just snacks, or just desserts. Some people like to specify who should bring what, or make that a part of the RSVP; others like to be surprised. BYOB is acceptable too. Make it clear what YOU are providing (soft drinks, cooking hamburgers, roasting a ham, hand-cranking ice cream; doesn't really matter WHAT -- just let them know). Serve buffet style. 2. Follow a theme. Some gatherings are easy and have very low expectations because they follow a "theme" -- come over to play bridge, or Scrabble, or watch the Super Bowl, the Academy Awards, the Director's Cut of a favorite film. 3. Go public. Concerned about the possibility of having strangers to your home, either for security reasons or because you'll feel pressured to clean house for the first time in months? No problem! Reserve a space at a local park for a potluck picnic (make it clear in the invitation if "guests" should bring their own table ware, etc.). Or make it a "gathering" -- organize a bunch of folks to go bowling, skating, horseback riding, bicycling, hiking. The options are endless. Host a part ("I'm bringing snacks for the hike") or make it clear that everyone is responsible for their own fee, lunch, horse, whatever. These days this kind of get-together often just needs someone to be the driving force. That can be you! First Rule of Successful Party Giving: Put it in writing. Time, date, address, how to FIND the address, phone number to RSVP and to call if lost, specific details (potluck, BYOB, etc.) Hand them out, mail them, etc., about two weeks ahead, in most cases. Invite more people than the space can handle, because even some people who SAY they are coming won't make it at the last minute. (Do not take this personally. ) Second Rule of Successful Party Giving: If you want the people you invite to invite others, SAY SO. Put it on the invitation. This is how YOU get to meet new people! Third Rule of Successful Party Giving: There is no perfect time/date/place. SOMEONE won't be able to participate at the coordinates you've picked. Express your regrets, urge THEM to plan the next gathering, and continue as planned. ----------------------------------------------- ADVICE FROM AUNT JANET: Forget New Year's Resolutions! It's almost a part of the DEFINITION of a New Year's Resolution that it's something you know you SHOULD do, but probably won't stay with. Sort of built-in self-defeat. Forget that. Instead, MODIFY. More of. Less of. Have a measurable standard. "Only one scoop of ice cream, instead of two." Take the elevator to one floor BELOW where you want to go, and walk the last flight (or two). Attend one new singles event a month. It's not a New Year's Resolution -- it's a New Year's Adjustment. THAT, we can do. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up for Harlan's dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to dating_agai-@topica.com. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! ----------------------------------------------- JANUARY daily ideas for DATING & MINGLING: Wed., Jan. 1 (to 5th): 11th Annual Zoolights, Phoenix Zoo, 455 N. Galvin Parkway, 6-10 pm. $7. 602-273-1341. Thurs., Jan. 2: Improv Comedy Show, interactive family entertainment. 8 p.m. 7117 E. McDowell, Papago Plaza, Scottsdale. $5 Thurs., $10 Fri.-Sat. 480-423-0120. Fri., Jan. 3: First Fridays art gallery tour, downtown Phoenix, 6-10 pm. Free. DASH bus starts from Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phx. 602-253-5000 ext. 1. or 602-256-7539. Oct. - June Sat., Jan. 4: Most Saturday nights: live music, magicians and other entertainment. Free. Centerpoint, Mill & University, downtown Tempe. 6-9 pm., 480-947-3500. Sun., Jan. 5: First Sunday. Sunnyslope Rock Garden, 10023 N. 13th Pl., Phoenix. Sculptures made of broken china, rocks & trinkets. 1-5 p.m. Free. 602-997-4627. Mon., Jan. 6: First Monday Art Salon, Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. 6:30 p.m. reception, 7 p.m. lecture & discussion. Free. 602-262-4636. Tues., Jan. 7: Word-buffs meet every Tuesday night 6 p.m. for Scrabble, at the Hampton Inn, just south of Shea on Scottsdale Rd. Wed., Jan. 8: Royal Scottish Country Dancing, 7 pm, Scottsdale Senior Center, Civic Center & 2nd Ave. Free. 480-834-5662. Newcomers welcome. Thurs., Jan 9: Every Thurs. "Sport Compact Only" drag racing, Firebird International Raceway, 20000 S. Maricopa Rd., Chandler, 7 p.m. $10. $5 parking. 602-268-0200. Fri., Jan. 10: Every Fri., Friday night drag racing, Firebird International Raceway, 20000 S. Maricopa Rd., Chandler. 6 p.m. $10. 602-268-0200. Sat., Jan. 11 (& 12): Annual Gathering of Gunfighters, Yuma Territorial Prison State Historic Park, features competitions by 16 Old West reenactment groups. Food, exhibits. Public welcome; park admission $4. 928-783-4771. Sun., Jan. 12: "Sunday A'Fair," live entertainment, food, arts & crafts. Free. 12-4:30 p.m., Scottsdale Civic Center Mall, sponsored by the Scottsdale Center for the Arts, 7380 E. 2nd St., Scottsdale. 480-994-ARTS. Mon., Jan. 13: Mondays (and Wednesdays) women's division Scottsdale Blues Ruby Club practice and play 7:30 p.m. Arcadia High School, 4703 E. Indian School. Hotline: 602-407-5555. Tues., Jan. 14: "Native Trails" exhibition of Native American music and dance, crafts and food. Free. Tues., Thurs. & Sats. 12-1:30 p.m. thru Feb., Scottsdale Civic Center Mall, sponsored by the Scottsdale Center for the Arts, 7380 E. 2nd St., Scottsdale. 480-994-ARTS. Wed., Jan. 15: Nonsmoking coffeehouse, 7 p.m., auditorium, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. Thurs. Jan. 16 (15th to 19th): 31st annual Barrett-Jackson Classic Car Auction, WestWorld, 16601 N. Pima Rd., Scottsdale. 165,000 spectators visit. Admission charge. 480-421-6694. Fri., Jan. 17: Every Fri., open dancing to a variety of music, 9:15 p.m. to midnight. Dance lessons 7:30-9:15. $5 Paragon Dance Center, 3029 N. Alma School, Chandler. 480-777-8877. Sat., Jan. 18: Get the tour of downtown Scottsdale free. Ride the trolley 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. in Scottsdale's downtown shopping, arts districts, and Fashion Square. Mondays to Saturdays. 480-312-7696. Sun., Jan. 19: Adobe Mountain Railroad Museum and Desert Railroad Park, 23280 N. 43rd Ave., Phoenix. Free rides in mini-steam trains. Sundays. 12-5 pm. Free (donations appreciated). 623-386-5737. Mon., Jan. 20: Not just Chinese food, but Chinatown, or in this case, Chinamall, at the Chinese Cultural Center, 668 N. 44th St., Phoenix. Shops, restaurants, 99 Ranch Market features live fish (and eels, if you're there at the right time). 602-275-8578. Tues., Jan. 21: Every Tues., East Coast Swing lessons, 9 pm-12:30 am, Bash on Ash, 230 W. Fifth St., Tempe. $5. 480-966-8200. Wed., Jan. 22: Every Wed., 7:30 p.m. Poetry slam open to all. Essenza Coffee House, 1350 S. Longmore, Mesa. 480-461-0445. Thurs., Jan. 23: Every Thurs., East Coast Swing classes, VFW Post #720, 4853 E. Thomas, Phoenix. 7:30 p.m. $5. 602-245-0467. Fri., Jan. 24: It's an artificial "downtown" but it works! Scottsdale's equivalent to Rodeo Drive has trendy shops and restaurants, and a stroll-down-the-street environment. For dinner, dessert, or just a walk. Sat., Jan. 25: Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-? 623-374-5794. Sun., Jan. 26 (to May 4): "Masterworks from El Greco to Picasso in The Phillips Collection" opens at the Phoenix Art Museum, 1625 N. Central Ave. Billed as "the most important exhibition ever mounted in Arizona." $16 tickets are for timed and dated entry. Advance reservations are recommended through Ticketmaster, or in person at the Museum. Museum info 602-257-1880. Mon., Jan. 27: Movie Night at Mickey's Hangover. The bar features free popcorn and a movie at 9 p.m. Mondays. 4310 N. Brown, Scottsdale. 480-425-0111. Tues., Jan. 28: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, 2605 N. 15th Ave., Phoenix. 7-9:30 p.m. Free. 602-262-6412. Wed., Jan. 29: "I'm Normal, You're Weird," lecture on misunderstanding each other's culture. 7 p.m., auditorium, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St., Glendale. Part of "Visiting Professor" lecture series. Free. Info 623-930-3530. Thurs., Jan. 30: Every Thurs., Sc. Center for the Arts, Civic Center Mall, is open til 8 p.m. 480-994-ARTS. Fri., Jan. 31: Astronomy Open House, Bateman Physical Science Bldg., H-wing roof (5th floor), ASU. 8-10 p.m. Free. Telescopic views. 480-727-7010. < > < > < > < > < > IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed!