Single Scene Newsletter 7-29-03 Issue 82 Copyright Single Scene 2003 http://www.azsinglescene.com singles@globalcrossing.net IN THIS ISSUE: * Workshop on finances of divorce * Prepare for September -- Opportunity in the "mini-New Year" * Advice from Aunt Janet -- Stop being "nice"! * August Dating & Mingling Opportunities --------------------------------------- For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our website at http://divorcerecovery101.com. ----------------------------------------------- Workshop on finances of divorce The Arizona Chapter of Certified Divorce Planners is offering free public workshops on understanding the finances of divorce at 7 p.m. on August 7 and September 10, Mesquite Public Library, 4525 Paradise Village Parkway, Phoenix. Info 602-569-4764. ----------------------------------------------- Prepare for September -- Opportunity in the "mini-New Year" We usually think of late December and early January as the time for "New Year's resolutions." But American life is actually structured with a SECOND "new year" that requires no resolutions, yet offers lots of opportunity. It's called Back to School. Even if you don't have children, the start of the new school year drags almost everything else along with it into a new beginning. Summer vacations are over; everyone's back on the job. The new TV season starts. The new car models are introduced. It is literally the time for a new start. What's this got to do with you? Opportunity! If you're like most singles, there's something in your life that could use a kick-start right about now, and going "back to school" can do that for you. This, however, doesn't mean enrolling in the University and setting off in a whole new career direction -- though that's great too! It means a class or two in a junior college, community education courses, parks and recreation department offerings. Here's a small sample of what taking a class or two can do for you: 1. Life's MORE INTERESTING when you're learning. The average American watches 27 hours of tv a week. Sacrifice a couple hours in front of the tube for some "Real World" experience of your own. Just because it "sounds interesting" is in fact a VERY good reason to take a class. 2. Increased OPPORTUNITY. Many classes will expand your options in life. Learning another language makes it easier to travel. Classes in business or public speaking can help you advance at work. Classes such as archeology have field trips that will literally take you new places. 3. EXERCISE -- your body and your brain. Use it or lose it turns out to be true of both our physical bodies and our mental capacity. You can low-key it and still stretch -- take ballroom dancing, or yoga, or table tennis. Study beginning philosophy, or the great books. 4. NEW PEOPLE! Remember how much eaiser it was to meet people and develop friends and relationships when you were in school? That's still true -- especially if you take a naturally interactive course such as public speaking, language studies, or creative writing. The person of your dreams ISN'T likely to be in the class -- but people who can introduce you to whole new circles of friends WILL be there. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< ADVICE FROM AUNT JANET -- Stop being "nice"! Just last week I was in a conversation with a woman who was on a temporary work assignment that put her in the situation of interacting socially with a man who clearly was "interested" in her. She had a boyfriend back home, and while she found the local man pleasant to be around, she had no desire to get any kind of romance going. But she also didn't want to offend him, which might, in addition, have made the work situation less comfortable. So she was being "nice"! She went to lunch with him, spent time talking with him at social events, let him loan her a bicycle during her stay, etc. etc. I disagreed that she was being NICE, since her behaviors could quite reasonably be interpreted as encouraging him more than she wanted to. She was letting him -- even encouraging him -- to invest his social time and energy in her, when she knew there was no chance of a relationship developing. But what should she DO in such situations, she wanted to know. Be a little less nice -- which does not at all mean being rude. 1. DON'T GET INTO ONE-to-ONE SITUATIONS. Invite a third party, or more, along to lunch. Hang out in the park in group situations -- a volleyball team, a potluck picnic. Decline (tactfully, and without detailed explanation) offers that are just-you-two. 2. At meetings or social events, make it a point to TALK TO MANY PEOPLE, not just this one. 3. AVOID SOCIAL OBLIGATIONS that can't easily -- and publicly -- be reciprocated. Borrowing the bike means you have to arrange to RETURN the bike. A small gift of thanks is good. Going to their house in the evening and then needing a ride home is not. Actually, the problem isn't with any ONE behavior. They are all innocent enough in the right circumstances. But in combinations that wrongly give the other person a false impression of your interest, such behavior is NOT "being nice." ---------------------------------------- YOU CAN HELP! Our singles' Internet information, maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people, which means we have little budget to promote our services. Newly singled people will find out about it and get help only if readers like you (word of mouth) tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites, newsletters, and courses. Remind them these are all totally FREE. ------------------------------------------------ Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to dating_again-subscribe@topica.com. ------------------------------------------------ August DATING & MINGLING Ideas Fri., Aug. 1: Gourmet dining at every day prices -- if you have patience and a sense of humor. The training restaurants for the Scottsdale Culinary Institute are only open Monday thru Friday, so for a "weekend" date, Friday's your night. The food is always good; the service varies depending on where your week falls in the training process. L'Academie, at the Galleria, is "bistro" style; L'Ecole is fine dining. Reservations are essential. Sat., Aug. 2: Kierland Common's Plaza Stage features live music Saturdays from 7-10 p.m. throughout August. Free. Greenway and Scottsdale Rd. Sun., Aug. 3: Arizona Old Time Fiddlers Association Jam Session, 1-4 pm, Eldorado Park Community Center, 2311 N. Miller Rd., Sc. 480-994-2697. Mon., Aug. 4: Art Salon, Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. 6:30 pm reception, 7 pm lecture/discussion on art & artists. Free. 602-262-4636. Tues., Aug. 5: Most Tuesdays there's a backgammon tournament at 7 pm at the George and Dragon pub, 4240 N. Central in Phoenix. Tourney entry is $10; bring your own board. 602-265-1992. Wed., Aug. 6: Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture (7 p.m.). $5 adm., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Thurs., Aug. 7: Every Thurs., free night at Phoenix Art Museum (donations appreciated). Til 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central. 602-257-1880. Fri., Aug. 8: Second Friday, Evening poetry reading, Changing Hands Bookstore, McClintock & Guadalupe (sw corner), Tempe. Sat., Aug. 9 (and 10th): 13th Annual White Mountain Bluegrass Music Festival, Pinetop-Lakeside. Daily adm. $8. Info 800-573-4031. Sun., Aug. 10: Ready to swing -- dance, that is? Greater Phoenix Swing Dance Club Dance, VFW Post 720, 4853 E. Thomas, Phx. Lesson 5-7, dance 7-10. $5 adm. Info 602-269-5657. Mon., Aug. 11: Everybody says "hit the pool" to beat the heat, but you can do that without getting wet! Just PLAY pool: New Times' Best Of for 2002 named Pool & Brew, 3215 E. Thomas in Phoenix as best pool hall; The Rep 2002 gave those honors to Doc & Eddy's, 909 E. Minton Dr., Tempe. Tues., Aug. 12 (and 13): Best night to see the Perseids meteor shower in the northeast sky. Peak hourly rate: 110! If possible, avoid the full moon. Wed., Aug. 13: In a rut on dinner dates? Try an ethnic restaurant for a food that's new to you. See the weekly arts-&-entertainment sections (New Times, Republic, Tribune) for restaurant reviews -- and ads with discount offers! Thurs., Aug. 14: Thursday Lunch Talks, noon to 1. Bring your lunch for a talk on the area's diverse cultures. Free. Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. 602-262-4636. Fri., Aug. 15: Movie theaters are SO crowded on the weekends! Head to the library and check out a few classics to watch at home. (If the library carries it, odds are it's good, or famous, or popular, or all of the above.) Sat., Aug. 16: Weekends you can ride the chairlift at Sunrise Park Resort on the White Mt. Apache Reservation for just $8. Info 800-772-7669. Sun., Aug. 17: Every Sunday, free admission day at the Pueblo Grande Museum, 4619 E. Washington, Phoenix, on southwest archeology and culture. 1-4:45 Sunday. 602-495-0901. Mon., Aug. 18: Storms forecast? Get take-out dinner, then drive to the top of South Mountain to dine in-car and watch the weather roll through. Tues., Aug. 19: Movie Tuesdays movie discussion series, every Tuesday, 5:30-7 p.m. Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phoenix. Free. 602-262-4636. Wed., Aug. 20: Every Wed., 7:30 p.m. Poetry slam open to all. Essenza Coffee House, 1350 S. Longmore, Mesa. 480-461-0445. Thurs., Aug. 21: Every Thurs., Sc. Center for the Arts, Civic Center Mall, is open til 8 p.m. 480-994-ARTS. Fri., Aug. 22: Every Fri., open dancing to a variety of music, 9:15 p.m. to midnight. Dance lessons 7:30-9:15. $5 Paragon Dance Center, 3029 N. Alma School, Chandler. 480-777-8877. Sat., Aug. 23: Every Saturday, classic cars & motorcycles exhibited approx. 5-9 p.m. (or later) around McDonalds at the Scottsdale Pavilions, Pima & Indian Bend Roads in Scottsdale. Free. 480-991-6007. Sun., Aug. 24: Here's a "lavish" date idea that lets you keep some control over costs: Sunday brunch! Nearly all of the resorts feature brunch, and many restaurants. Generally 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. For 2002 "The Rep" named the Terrace Dining Room at the Phoenician as "Best Sunday Brunch." Mon., Aug. 25: It's finally getting dark a little earlier. Go out for ice cream and then a walk. One option is take-out ice cream from the Sugar Bowl on Scottsdale Road, and then a stroll on the Civic Center grounds. Tues., Aug. 26: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, 2605 N. 15th Ave., Phoenix. 7-9:30 p.m. Free. 602-262-6412. Wed.. Aug. 27: Last Wed., Acoustic Jam Session for amateurs. 7 p.m., large meeting room, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. Thurs., Aug. 28: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri., Aug. 29: Start of the Labor Day Weekend. Staying in town? Stay up late! Attend a late movie, then go out for dinner AFTER. New Times' "Best 24-hour Restaurant" is Hap's Real Pit BBQ, 3201 W. Indian School, Phoenix. Sat., Aug. 30: Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-? 623-374-5794. Sun., Aug. 31: Avoid the Labor Day Weekend crowds on the highways. Host a picnic at home. + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You’ll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed!